Saturday, May 29, 2010

when you don't have love, it is like there's a party going on
and everybody was invited except you,
and you just happen to walk by that house in the rain.

I don't have a fear of commitment; I have a fear of abandonment. We all screw things up. I screw things up, especially with the people I love. I get needy, I get moody, I get distant, I want to be too close. I get confused, I don't understand all of it. But I keep pushing because I hope in this thing, the universe. There's no way I'm the only person out there who wants it this bad. If I want it, someone else out there must too.

I'm gonna smile more than I should. And laugh more than I knew I could.
And when they ask me why, I'll tell them I don't wanna die dead.

Letting go is much easier said than done. You grow to love someone and letting them go is like losing a part of you. Whenever you know you must let go because it's what is best for you, you keep thinking of reasons to stick around. I know what I must do. It's not going to be easy and it will take time for me to completely let go, but it's what I need to do.

people are like stained-glass windows. they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is shown if there is a light from within.

Congratulations, you won. I have finally stopped trying. You are out of my life. Probably forever. But just remember, that when you realize that you lost your best friend, it was your fault. Don't you dare try and pin this on me. I have done my fair share of messing up, but this one, it's not my fault whatsoever.

even in the darkest clouds, there’s a silver lining. the world may turn from the sun, but it never stops shining.

I used to be afraid of heights. But now, whether I'm climbing two inches or two feet, my direction is always up. My dream is to fly and I'm not coming down anytime soon.

we tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result
of getting something we don't have, but rather of
recognizing and appreciating what we do have.


Photobucket


Our relationship is the kind some people spend their whole lives trying to find, and we're so lucky to have found it so early. I love him with my whole heart,Cameron is one of the most patient, kind and loving people I have ever met, and I'm blessed to have him in my life. You find new ways to amaze me each and every single day We fight sometimes and we've been through a lot but we're still happy
I will love you for the rest of my life, you and no other(:

The past is only the future with the lights on.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Senior Year

three simple rules of life.
1. if you do not go after what you
want, you will never have it.
2. if you do not ask, then the
answer will always be no.
3. if you do not step forward you
will always be in the same place.


I love you more than waffles on Sunday morning. I love you more than a fully charged laptop battery. I love you more than finally being able to sneeze. I love you more than my jeep. I love you more.


you = night owl.
me = morning bird.
you and me = lovebird

life is for deep kisses, wild adventures,
midnight swims, & rambling conversations.

If you're going to love me, love me deeply. If you’re going to break my heart, then break it all. If you’re going to care, care for me completely. If you decide not to hold me, then just let me fall. If you’re going to stay, then stay forever and if you want to leave, then do it today. If you’re going to change, change for the better. And if you’re going to talk, please mean what you say.

I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you.


"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life." -Bob Marley

The way you make me feel is like smelling fresh cut grass or being in the back of a convertible under the stars. Or returning home from a long trip or just driving with no destination in the summer. Its like the feeling you get when you get an A on your report card and your parents tell you how proud they are. Or when you hear your family laugh together or the whooshing of a tunnel when you drive with the windows down. Its like when youre outside on a hot summer day and you have a cold glass of water or when you talk to an old friend after a month or two yet the two of you are still as close as ever. Its like the feeling you get when you hear your favorite childhood song on the radio for the first time in years you turn it up and feel so alive. Or laying in bed watching a snow storm knowing you dont have to get up for hours and get just lay in the warmth of your comforters for hours. Its the way your stomach flip flops during your first true kiss or how your body feels when you take off in an air plane for the first time. Or when you drive around in the front seat of car who belongs to the boy you like and even though you should feel scared beyond control because hes driving so fast and stupid yet you feel so safe and alive. Yeah that feeling. The way you make me feel feels good to me.

The important thing is for you to believe in something, because I promise you that that belief will keep you warm at night, and I want you to feel safe always. And then, there's love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers.. and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose - don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient, and it'll come to you. Don't be afraid. And remember, to love is to live.
I can't really offer you much. But I can offer you that empty spot of carpet right next to me. I can offer you late nights, of you and I sitting together. I can share with you my mind, and my words, and my music. And maybe it'll move you, like you move me.

I had forgotten what it felt like to find
someone you can't get enough of.


Don't promise me forever. Just love me day by day.
No one knows the future. We're young, but
that's okay.

When the world is not enough, come back to me
When your dreams have lost their touch
Come back to me.
When you're tired of chasing rainbows that never do end,
And nothing in this world is good enough
Just come back to me again.


No matter what the ending, my life began with you

You left a mark
I wear it proudly on my chest
Above my heart


I
wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad, carry you around when your arthritis is bad. I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches, build you a fire if the furnace breaks. I’ll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold. Need you, feed you, I’ll even let you hold the remote control. So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink. All I wanna do is grow old with you.

People keep telling me that I fall in love too easily- that I should protect my heart, that I shouldn’t wear my heart on my sleeve…I fall in love at least 20 times a day. I fall in love with the sky and the sun and the flowers and my children. I fall in love with smiles, with music on the radio and with french fries and Dr. Pepper. I fall in love with the sound of laughter, blue jeans, accents… Sometimes I fall in love with complete strangers, especially the ones holding hands and kissing in public. The ones who aren’t afraid to be in love with the idea of being in love either….I don’t mind the pain of unrequited love so much, because I think they’re wrong.
I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down.

"And it's not like it happened all at once, either; it had been happening for a long time. But how do you tell your best friend that there are a million things you never said and that there will probably be a million more?"

Don’t you think it’s better to be extremely happy for a short while, even if you lose it, than to be just okay for your whole life?

Try and expect nothing,
but be open for anything.
Don't look for happiness,
but don't settle for anything less.

Who wants that? I'd rather choose to fall in love and be hurt. Sometimes I can't even sleep because I love you so much. And there's always sadness in our lives. Its the sad feeling that keeps us going. Because if we can overcome the sadness, we can hope for happiness in the future.

i have so much to give to you. So much love and heart and soul. So much caring. Everything that I have in me. I am not an empty vessel. I am brimming with passion and smiles and stories and pictures and romance. I want to break it, everything inside of me, into a million tiny pieces and wrap them up and give you one every day until you have all of them. All of me.

i've got more in store.

After all that’s said and done, I still think you’re amazing. I still cherish every moment I ever spent with you and every smile you brought to my face. I’ll forever be thankful that someone like you was brought into my life, even if it had to be taken away too soon. See, you were my miracle, you were my fairytale I got to live.