Like a slingshot, when you pull me down, I'm always going to shoot back up.

I brought you a to-go box since you are screwing my leftovers.

Isn't it sad that we're all so young, yet we're so depressed, alone, forgotten, paranoid, judgmental, & afraid of the future? What happened to being young, living life, having fun, & not giving a fuck?

God made the world round so that if you two people who are meant to be together should choose to take different paths in life, they would wrap around and end up right back to each other to meet again.

If you're feeling frightened about what comes next, don't be. Embrace the uncertainty and allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to excercise both your heart and mind as you create your own path towards happiness. Don't waste time with regret, and spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, because you'll never get another one quite like it. But if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps, and go back to the purest place in your heart- where your hope lives.

Life is good, forget the forecast. Every day is sunny.

"The only reason your girlfriend likes your dick is because her mom told her to enjoy the little things in life."

"Does your ass ever get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth?"

"Hi my name is shower. If you turn me on, ill make you wet."

"You're like a penny. Two faced, worthless, and dirty. I'm sure that's what you charge anyways."

"My heart isn't your dick. So quit playing with it."

"You know who's the reason for the big smile on my face? The first word in the sentence."

"When judging how a guy will be, look at how he treats his family. That's how he will treat you."

"That awkward moment when you yell "hey slut" and 15 girls turn around."

"Guys only act like dicks to make up for the ones they don't have."

"I can out eat you.. I guarantee about 90% of you read that wrong at first!"

"who was the greatest prostitute in history? ms. pacman, for 25 cents that bitch swallowed balls until she died."